


Oh Glory, I'm a Believer

by vmprsm



Series: Kylux Virus AU [3]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M, Memory Lane, Panic Attack, Teeth breaking, Vomiting (brief), non-explicit violence, premeditated murder, rabies au, two monsters in love, virus AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-12-13 22:37:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11769837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vmprsm/pseuds/vmprsm
Summary: A year after the epilogue of 'Introduced species', Hux finds himself faced with memories of his past.





	Oh Glory, I'm a Believer

**Author's Note:**

> HUX BACKSTORY!  
> I tried to avoid it, keep it a mystery forever....but I couldn't.  
> I'm done with this au now, I promise.

The ring of his cell phone was a sound that Hux would be able to hear from the grave.

 

His hand shot out from under the covers and grabbed it, taking it back under the fabric just as fast, like a frog catching prey.

 

“Hux.” He said after blinding himself with the phone screen and hitting answer.

 

The slightly gravelly voice of one of this lab techs, Unamo, answered him. “Hey Dr. Hux, I know it’s early and I’m sorry about this--”

 

“What.” He said, cutting off her apology. He didn’t need it, he needed _answers_ as to why he was awake at--he pulled the phone from his ear--four in the morning _._

 

“There’s a new case.”

 

“Where?” Hux sat up, pulling the covers off himself and subsequently Kylo, who grumbled in irritation and rolled over.

 

The rate of Malind cases in the US had experienced a huge increase in the last two years, nearly doubling the number of total afflicted that had occurred in the last _twenty years_. No one knew why, but it was what Hux had been focusing his research on, trying to stop the spread, especially in animal vectors.

 

Kylo, meanwhile, had been delighted. They were working on it.

 

“At Johns Hopkins, sir. She’s already in quarantine, I told the staff to expect you.”

 

Hux thanked her and hung up without ceremony, throwing back the covers and getting up to go to the bathroom. When he emerged, hair brushed back and smelling of aftershave, Kylo was at their closet getting dressed.

 

“So you heard then,” Hux said, coming to stand next to his partner and picking out a shirt. Kylo nodded.

 

“It’s early,” Hux continued, “you don’t have to go.”

 

“I want to,” Kylo said, looking over. In the dim light from the bathroom Hux could make out the zealous shine in his eyes.

 

Shrugging, Hux went back to dressing himself, shaking out his medical bracelet from under the cuff of his shirt. Wearing it had become something of a second skin, and Kylo never took his off either. The matching bands, to Hux, felt more like a commitment than any economic or religious binding. They were tied together in blood.

 

They climbed into Kylo’s SUV and started for the hospital. The vehicle had been converted somewhat recently into one capable of holding their kind, if necessary.The upgrades had been paid for by Kylo, insisting on it for months until Hux finally relented. The vehicle was paid for, anyways.

 

It now only sported the front two seats, with a sheet of bulletproof glass held in by metal rails separating it from the back. The rest had been hollowed out and covered with foam insulation and fabric, and a cooling unit had been mounted flush with the roof and connected into the engine. Restraints poked out from reinforced areas of the side walls, the rear doors just for show, and the windows were blacked out. Only the trunk door functioned on quick hydraulics that could be moved without the regular resistance. Set into the floor near the door was a heavily stocked first aid kit and tranquilizer gun. “Everything we might need,” Kylo said proudly when he had shown Hux. Hux just sighed, and let it go.

 

Reaching the hospital was really only a few minutes drive, especially with the four am lack of traffic and Hux nearly flooring it when the road was empty of law enforcement. Kylo simply held on, looking intent.

 

Hux flashed his staff badge at the private parking garage closest to the infectious disease unit and practically drifted into a parking spot. He was almost vibrating with the excitement. That, and he’d not had a chance to work out his fidgeting in their hurry. Kylo took his hand as the walked through the garage. “Hey, Hux, look at me.”

 

Turning, Hux felt himself falling into those depthless eyes, as he almost always did. He stopped in his tracks, and Kylo squeezed his hand.

 

“Take a breath, okay? The girl will be there. You’ll be no good if you’re jumping out of your skin, and you’ll make everyone nervous.”

 

She would. Kylo was right. He needed to calm down. But this was _his_ research hospital, and a perfect opportunity. He’d have access to all the medical charts, the doctors, anything. No one would try to stop Dr. Braeden when it had to do with Malind, especially since they hired him to research it. His mind was already whirling with plans and research trips. People getting bitten in this area was so rare.

 

“Yes. I’ll be alright. I was getting a little out of control.” As Hux said this, he forced his leg to stop jiggling.

 

Kylo sighed and rolled his eyes. “I’ve said over and over it’s not about _control--”_

 

“No time, you can preach later.” Hux used Kylo’s grip on his hand against him, and pulled him towards the elevators. Kylo huffed a laugh.

 

Just outside, Hux paused. He pulled out his phone before he lost reception and called Unamo again. “I don’t know where we’re going.” He stated without preamble.

 

“Basement, I’ll get to room number and text it.”

 

“Of course. And the lab?”

 

“What lab?” Unamo asked, confused.

 

“For the animal.”

 

There was a pause. “There’s no animal.”

 

Hux looked at Kylo, making a face involuntarily, but Kylo had already walked away, into the elevator. “Wait,” Hux started following him in, “what do you mean there’s no--”

 

The line went dead and Hux cursed at the lack of bars on his screen. He’d have to figure out why the hell Unamo sent him out on a _regular_ case later. The doors opened.  “Kylo, wait!”

 

Coming up onto the first floor, they immediately went back down, taking a service elevator to the basement level. It was hands down the best area to keep afflicted, in special quarantine rooms. It was easily made cool, dark, and reinforced, and as a bonus, if anything went wrong, it didn’t have immediate access to the rest of the hospital. Some people thought it cruel, but Hux found it practical. Creatures that couldn’t control themselves needed to be separated.

 

He looked out of the corner of his eye as they walked down the hallway. Hux had realized, after two years together, that Kylo was simultaneously more alert and relaxed in enclosed spaces. Down here especially, underground, he kept his eyes very wide open and kept looking around, attempting to make it look casual. Hux had never asked why. It didn't really matter. They each had their secrets.

 

They had surprisingly encountered no resistance yet, but when they came to the door number that Unamo had texted, a nurse-turned-guard stood in front of the door. The man, burly but with the bearing of a caregiver, was decked out in a rubbery hazmat suit--not for airborne concerns, but to protect his skin should the newly afflicted try to bite or otherwise transfer body fluids.

 

“You’re Dr. Braeden Hux?” The man asked.

 

Hux flashed his university badge in response and the nurse moved, putting a hand on the doorknob. “If she becomes too agitated, you’ll have to leave. Don’t try to touch her.”

 

Hux and Kylo nodded and the guard let them in. Frankly, the only reason they were getting in without their own suits was because they were both already infected, and had proven beyond the shadow of a doubt they could suppress an episode. Hux, by mitigating techniques, and Kylo, by sheer force of will. Hux still didn’t really understand it.

 

The room was darkened, but for diffuse lamps across the room from the bed. There, strapped down, was a slip of a girl. Hux felt the phantom of leather around his wrists in sympathy. They approached, and Hux put his hand gently over his mouth.

 

_“Maria.”_

 

The girl opened her eyes. “Hi, Dr. Hux.” She croaked, throat presumably raw from screaming.

 

“Maria, what,”

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know who else to call.” A tear slipped out of her eye, and Kylo swiftly handed Hux a tissue to wipe it away.

 

“Shh, sh, it’s okay. What happened?”

 

Maria was one of Hux’s old lab techs, a brilliant masters student when Hux had just been starting out his Malind research. She had another professor as her chair, but they hadn’t had space in their lab, so Hux, also studying an animal-borne pathogen, had taken her. She had been good enough at her job to warrant him remembering her several years later.

 

“I was feeling like I might have the flu the last couple days...and then I went outside for a smoke and I just…” Her tears came again, and Hux was diligent in patting them away. “I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t, my body wouldn’t _listen_ ,”

 

Hux shushed her, using his free hand to brush back her hair. Fuck the nurse’s orders, Maria was lucid enough that he had no concerns over her lashing out. He would comfort a destroyed girl. If she did, it wasn’t like he wouldn’t just add it to his list of scars. Physical pain wasn’t a deterrent anymore.

 

“Maria, I need to know what happened before the first episode. Did you do anything different? Did you get near any strange animals? Did you have any unprotected sex? Transmission of other bodily fluids?”

 

Maria hiccupped, then took a moment to pull herself under control, holding her breath for set periods of time. Hux smiled slightly, she would be just fine being afflicted if she already had that mentality. He would see to it either way.

 

“Nothing abnormal but...my boyfriend. He just came back from a business trip. He was so happy to see me, I didn’t think,”

 

Hux squeezed his eyes shut. He heard Kylo take a breath. He opened them again. “I want his name. His address. Everything.”

 

Without much pause, Maria rattled off the information. Kylo dutifully jotted it down on a pad he kept in his coat pocket, and Hux turned to him. “We’ll find out if he’s already on the registry.”

 

“Dr. Hux, wait.” Hux turned back around, eyebrows raised. “What is going on?”

 

“He did this to you, and he must face the law. This is a criminal offense. We’ll put out a manhunt for him, and then we can bring him in while you speak to an officer about pressing charges. Once we verify his status, it is an open and shut case.”

 

“I don’t want to press charges.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

Kylo took a step back at the venom in Hux’s voice, but Hux couldn’t avoid it. “You have to press charges. This is--”

 

“It’ll be okay. He didn’t mean to, I’d think. I’ll be okay, I mean, you’re okay, right? You and him?”

 

_Him_ meaning Kylo, and as Hux turned to glance at him, he saw him shaking his head subtly. He wasn’t sure what it meant, but it didn’t matter past the wave of rage building in his system.

 

“I am not, _we_ are not a good example. I know a hundred more like us who never leave hospitals after they get diagnosed. I know people who have _died_ . I’m not trying to scare you, Maria, but this is a disease. A chronic, life changing, misunderstood _disease_. You will never be the same. The media might glamourize it now, but you will be regarded with fear and pity and even loathing. You can hurt people, and the guilt of it will never leave you even if you don’t remember doing it.”

 

Silently, Maria had started crying again. Hux pressed on. She had to understand.

 

“It will be a long, hard, _painful_ road to something resembling normalcy, and you will never feel like you’ve succeeded. The medical bills alone are staggering.” Hux paused, cleared his throat. “He has to pay for what he’s done to you, in every way possible. He has to be stopped. Whether he knows it or not, he can pass it to others as well. Do you want that?”

 

Maria shook her head. Kylo stepped past him to wipe her eyes again when it was clear that Hux wasn’t going to move. The motion seemed to snap him out of his cold fury.

 

“Okay.” He said, gentler. “I’ll get a police liaison in here, one who understands Malind related cases. You can give your statement. I’ll be back soon to help you, alright?”

 

She nodded. Kylo pat her head gently and squeezed her shoulder. Hux couldn’t bear to touch her again.

 

Leaving the room, and nurse looked startled at the look on Hux’s face, and as soon as they were up the stairs, Hux bolted for the bathroom. It as a single, and Hux locked the door behind him.

 

“Hux what--”

 

The doorknob rattled and Hux was able to bark, “Stay out!” at Kylo before this mostly-digested dinner came back up. He retched horribly, back arching over the toilet bowl, and his fingernails, now longer than he used to keep them on Kylo’s insistence, scraped against the porcelain. His hair brushed his cheek and he impatiently pushed it back and held his hand against his suddenly pounding head. As soon as it seemed like he had nothing else to vomit, he sat against the tiled wall, letting it cool him as he went through his breathing exercises. He didn’t feel like he would trigger, but it was always prudent to be cautious.

 

Kylo was waiting anxiously by the door as Hux emerged several minutes later. Kylo noticed the shaking he hadn’t been able to completely suppress, and immediately approached, taking him by the arms. “Are you…?”

 

“No,” Hux replied, shaking his head. He had the virus under control. This was all him. “I’m okay.” He held out an arm, the other covering his face as he tried to breathe through it. “Please.”

 

Kylo stepped in, wrapping his arms around Hux and turning them so he could lean against the wall. Hux crumpled in, and Kylo gently placed his chin on Hux’s head. They stood like that for several long minutes as Hux intently studied the weave of Kylo’s shirt. Even now, Kylo’s arms around him calmed him down in a way he never thought possible.

 

Finally, Hux shifted, and Kylo let him go. Hux moved slowly with him, over to one of the cushy chairs in the nearby lobby and settled into it, Kylo taking the one to his left.

 

“What happened?” Kylo asked, softly but firmly.

 

Hux took the hand from his face, knowing this his eyes were red from watering and his face was likely devoid of color. He raked the hand through his hair instead, a nervous gesture he tried not to indulge in often. He started bouncing his leg subtly.

 

“Things like this...I am still sensitive to them.”

 

“Newly afflicted?” Kylo asked, confused.

 

“No, it’s,” Hux sighed shakily, “Kylo, you...this won’t seem important to you.”

 

“Hey,” Kylo took Hux’s hand from his hair and held it. “Everything about you is important to me. We’re different but I respect you. If I didn’t think so, I wouldn’t be here with you.”

 

Hux considered that. Kylo had stuck around for more than two years now. Maybe it was time.

 

“Alright. You deserve to know.”

 

-

 

_Hux sighed contentedly, and rolled off Alec’s hips. As soon as he hit the bed he snuggled in, octopus-limbed around his boyfriend. Alec groaned. “Babe, I’m really hot, can you give me a minute?”_

 

_Frowning, Hux backed off. “I missed you.”_

 

_“I missed you too but I need some space.”_

 

_“...sure.” Hux replied, and got off the bed. It hadn’t felt like he needed space, given he had jumped Hux’s bones as soon as he had gotten home. It had been good, wild even, which was somewhat unusual for Alec, but now he seemed to be back to normal. Hux sighed again, quieter, and stepped into the shower._

 

_-_

 

_Alec was at work. Why did he have to go early? Hux groped for the phone, the tremors wracking his body from his curled up position on the bed. The call rang out, but no one answered. Should he call 911? He’d been sick the past couple days but that had just been the flu...hadn’t it?_

 

_His vertebra popped as his muscles seized, and he dropped the phone as his hand reflexively clawed in pain and stayed that way. Things were getting blurry and he cried out as waves of agony swept across his body. Writhing, he fell out of the bed as he tried to get up, to try to go outside and get help. As he twitched on the floor and consciousness faded, he cried, knowing he’d not get to say goodbye._

 

_-_

 

_He woke slowly, in the dark. Hux had no clue what was going on until he heard his father’s voice. “What have you done, Braeden.”_

 

_He looked around, and found the dim silhouette of the other man in a chair by his bed._

 

_“What--” Hux had to stop, cough, and try ro start again, “what happened?”_

 

_“You’ve screwed up. You’re lucky you didn’t kill the young woman who tried to check on you while you were screaming.”_

 

_“I don’t, what? I don’t remember.”_

 

_Brendol tsked. “They said you may not. You’ve contracted a very serious disease, Braeden. Malind. I’d say you should be happy to even be alive, but that may be lying.”_

 

_Malind? Hux thought, and tried to put together the pieces. There was almost nothing but the memory of pain and then...pleasure? That wasn’t right. He must have been entirely gone. Malind was...only his memory of a rare viral diseases course gave him a mental handhold._

 

_“The_ rabies disease _?” Hux gasped, and coughed again._

 

_“The very one.” Brendol replied, and Hux could hear the sneer in his voice. “This will ruin you. I told you about that man you professed to_ love _,”_

 

_“Alec?” Hux blurted, his voice suddenly wobbly. “Alec did this to me?”_

 

_“And he’s getting away with it. No one has been able to find him.”_

 

_-_

 

_Six months. It took six months for those medical morons to let him go. He’d mastered and improved upon the anti-triggering therapy in two months, but everyone had been concerned nonetheless, especially with how jittery he was. There was only so much to do to work out your stress in a seven-by-seven foot isolation room. Hux hefted the duffel bag over his shoulder and stepped outside the front doors of the hospital._

 

_A taxi was waiting, to take him to his father’s house in the country. There was little risk of him in the city, or so he believed, but his father insisted. Given that he’d managed most of the medical bills, Hux had little grounds to deny him. There, he’d have access to resources as well. The police hadn’t found Alec, he was sure they hadn’t really tried their hardest, but the Hux family knew well how to get around without._

 

_The difficulty was laughable. He had needed only a few weeks to find the likely town Alec had run to, and as he packed a bag, he slipped a small pistol inside._

 

_He loitered, disguised by big jackets and fuzzy hats and sunglasses, for a week in the town, and when he found Alex he barely let him out of his sight. Every hour that passed, Hux’s fury grew. How_ dare _this man, that man he had given his body and heart to, turn him into a monster. How dare he not take responsibility. How dare he try to have a life when Hux had been clawing every minute back to one of his own._

 

_Guns were too impersonal._

 

_Alec walked into his basement level apartment, closing the door behind him, but he hadn’t heard Hux trailing behind. He turned when he didn’t hear it shut to find Hux’s sneaker in the way, and looked up to see piercing green eyes aflame and trained upon him._

 

_“Hi Alec.” Hux said, sickly sweet._

 

_“Braeden,” Alec said, stepping backwards. He stumbled, but caught his balance. The room was very cold. That wasn’t a concern, given how Hux’s heart was racing. The idea alone was terrifying, of what he would do, but he also knew that_ nothing _would sway him now. Not after hearing the traitor’s voice and seeing his fearful face._

 

_“You guessed it!” Hux exclaimed, tossing off his sunglasses and ski cap. “I wasn’t sure you’d recognize me now. It’s been too long.”_

 

_“I didn’t think, I’m sorry.”_

 

_“Clearly not.” Hux paced closer. “It’s honestly amazing to me how you’ve been hiding it. Was sticking your dick in my ass really worth dying for? I’m flattered.”_

 

_Alec opened his mouth, likely to spew some other meaningless nonsense, and Hux had heard enough. He punched Alec in the teeth, and heard the satisfying crack. His hand hurt, but the feeling was quickly fading as the tremors started._

 

“ _Goodbye, Alec.” Hux managed to say as his throat constricted, and then he surged forward._

 

_-_

 

_His father showed him the crime scene photos._

 

_The blood spray was impressive, but more so was how he’d managed to spread Alec’s body all over the apartment before the response team had shown up. Given that Alec would likely have been put into solitary for life if he was arrested, it wasn’t difficult for Brendol’s lawyers to spin a tragic tale of grief and heartbreak, and make the furious episode into an unavoidable attack of passion. They were on even ground, Alec had had every chance to defend himself. He had just been a coward._

 

_“Don’t_ ever _do this again.” Brendol said, his tone brooking no argument. That was fine with Hux. He never wanted to do it again. He was a man, not whatever Alec had tried to make him. Now, he could move on._

 

_-_

 

Hux opened his eyes, coming out of the memories he had tried so hard to repress. Kylo hadn’t let go of his hand, and as they locked gazes Hux could identify a shocked sort of awe in his expression. Somehow, he should have expected it.

 

“Kylo, don’t make a big deal--”

 

Kylo kissed him, hard and sloppy but with it a strange relief washed over Hux. He kissed back, earnest but somewhat less enthusiastic, still a bit shaky from skipping down memory lane.

 

Kylo pulled back first. “I love you. I knew you’d had it in you the whole time.”

 

There was no way Hux had been expecting sympathy or even compassion, and he rolled his eyes. “Thanks. I think.”

 

Kylo stroked his thumbs over Hux’s hand. I was wondering where these little scars had come from.”

 

Hux looked down at his hand as well. Scattered around the knuckles of his right hand were small scars, from the jagged broken edges of Alec’s teeth. He didn’t really remember if he’d punched him again after he’d triggered, but he hoped he had. The scars, like all the others he’d gained since, he now bore with pride, with the security of knowing all he had triumphed over. “Yes,” he said, “from him.”

 

“I love them,” Kylo said, and paused. Hux had gotten a little lost, staring at his hand, and when he looked up, his eyes were watery with the stress.

 

“I thought I’d gotten over this,” Hux said softly, “when he died, when I killed him, I thought that was it. But I’ve been avoiding situations like Maria because it still hurts. I still can’t believe I let him…”

 

Kylo took Hux’s cheeks in both hands and looked him square in the eye. “Listen to me. You did what you needed to do. It is nothing to be ashamed of, any of it. You got retribution and you removed a dangerous, uncontrollable entity from our world. _Our_ world. The people who do this to unsuspecting innocents? They’re the worst. The lowest. We do not spread like rodents, we spread like glory. To those who _deserve_ it. They’ll find him, Hux, the man who did this to Maria, and bring him in to face justice.”

 

“What if they can’t?” Hux asked.

 

“If they can’t,” Kylo replied slowly, “if he runs…”

 

“We find him.” Hux finished. “We handle it.”

 

“Yes.” Kylo grinned, his big teeth flashing in the fluorescent lights, and Hux grinned back.

**Author's Note:**

> I added a couple songs to my playlist for this little fic:  
> Foundation by Years & Years  
> Wild Horses by Bishop Briggs


End file.
